It dawned on me today that one of the greatest mysteries of motherhood is simultaneously loving your child so much that you'd lay down your life for her in a nanosecond while at the same time wanting to smack that same child into next week. (Of course, I would never act upon that second impulse, but sometimes the mental image does help to bring my boiling blood down a degree or two.)
The latest darling thing that has been working on my nerves is Amber wanting something and not wanting it at the same time. This happens daily in a number of situations, much like this scenario:
Amber: "I want some juice."
Me: (Pouring juice and handing cup to Amber.)
Amber: "Uh-uh." (crosses arms across chest and closes eyes, as if sight of the juice makes her ill.)
Me: "Ok then." (Takes juice back to fridge.)
Amber: (screaming) "JUUUUUUUUUUIIIICEEE!!!"
Me: "Here then." (hands cup back)
Amber: "Uh-uh." (Crosses arms again, etc.)
This little scenario would repeat itself indefinitely if I kept offering and retracting the juice cup. And she does it with anything---wants to brush teeth but won't open mouth, wants to walk but sits on ground when put down, wants a toy but won't take it when offered. Annoying, to say the very least!
Unfortunately, the only way to end this stupid cycle is to let the kid scream her guts out for a few minutes till she breaks down and stops acting like a fool. Whenever she does one of this "yes-no" numbers, it's always a downer because I know Amber Volcano must erupt to move past this. I'm hoping for a short-lived phase...
And here's where I came to my great paradox--loving a child so completely and simultaneously wanting to throttle her. I'm sure when she was a baby I could never DREAM of ever even THINKING about hurting my kid, and I used to worry that perhaps there was something really wrong with me. But I have to come to realize that all moms probably reach that level of frustration at some point with their defiant toddler. I just consider these events an exercise in patience for me, while at the same time a means to shape the behavior and character of a developing little person.
Whenever we have tantrums, fits, and fallouts, I try to focus on the big picture. Without ever crossing the line, how else would this child learn what behavior is acceptable and what is not? And fighting these battles now will be better than trying to fight them years down the road...
But the hard part is having to sometimes scrape the bottom of the barrel to come up with the energy and patience to remember that in the moment! Which is why I sometimes find myself yelling out "Lord, give me strength!" in the midst of one of these moments! I'm just waiting for the day one of the girls starts repeating that one back to me!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Pregnancy Disclaimer
As of Wednesday, 11/17/10, I will officially be 13 weeks into this 40-week "adventure." And so, after already receiving numerous questions--don't you love how being pregnant gets you all these questions and comments?--I must post a few responses to head off the vast majority:
1. No, this was not planned. We are the poster children for fertility, apparently.
2. Yes, these three kids will be close in age. 21 months between the first two, and if all goes as planned, 22 months between the last two.
3. Notice I said "LAST TWO" in the above. This will be the caboose. If I have to perform a "home vasectomy" to ensure that, then so be it. (Just kidding, Jay. Sort of.)
4. I do not care if this is a boy or girl. We don't have a boy, but we do have lots of girl stuff. So it's a win either way. I asked God to give me a good sleeper last time, regardless of sex, and I didn't get that. But I've been an extra good girl this time...
5. No, we were not trying for a boy.
6. No, we will not have more children in hopes of having a boy.
7. No, it's not twins. Please don't tell me I look so huge that surely there's more than one kid in there. There's not. I'm just a fat pregnant lady. Back off before I hurt you.
8. Am I crazy? Yes, yes I am. Or at least, I will be by the end of this ordeal. But hey, what can you do?
1. No, this was not planned. We are the poster children for fertility, apparently.
2. Yes, these three kids will be close in age. 21 months between the first two, and if all goes as planned, 22 months between the last two.
3. Notice I said "LAST TWO" in the above. This will be the caboose. If I have to perform a "home vasectomy" to ensure that, then so be it. (Just kidding, Jay. Sort of.)
4. I do not care if this is a boy or girl. We don't have a boy, but we do have lots of girl stuff. So it's a win either way. I asked God to give me a good sleeper last time, regardless of sex, and I didn't get that. But I've been an extra good girl this time...
5. No, we were not trying for a boy.
6. No, we will not have more children in hopes of having a boy.
7. No, it's not twins. Please don't tell me I look so huge that surely there's more than one kid in there. There's not. I'm just a fat pregnant lady. Back off before I hurt you.
8. Am I crazy? Yes, yes I am. Or at least, I will be by the end of this ordeal. But hey, what can you do?
Missing in Action
Well, it's been quite some time, hasn't it? I'm sure most people figured this blog went the same way so many of my high school journals and other ventures went--I'd do a great job for the first few weeks and then the project fell off into a black hole, never be seen from again...
WELL, I'M BACK!
For the last 13 weeks or so, we can say I was in a "funk." And by "funk" I mean another misnomer--"morning sickness." Or in my case, we could call it "all-day every day sickness." I am serious--I would GLADLY give birth twice to avoid this first trimester. This is the pits... it's been like the flu and major depression all rolled into one. So not only do you have the "fun" of dry heaving or vomiting all day, you also have the joys of feeling like you are whacked out of your mind.
Seriously, these hormones make me feel like I'm losing my grip on reality, at least in the beginning. My body was in full-out panic mode. I'd wake up at 3 AM for no particular reason with my mind and heart racing. No matter how much I'd try to reason myself out of it by thinking about just how worry-free my day was going to be, it didn't matter because it wasn't rational anyway. Thankfully, that has pretty much subsided. It's the kind of feeling that made you want to have a glass of wine to relax your nerves, but eh, not possible in these circumstances!!
For any of you moms out there who never had to experience these joyous first few months of pregnancy, I am a jealous, jealous beast. Supposedly, your pregnancy is supposed to be a lot like your mom's--well, that's bull. She got no morning sickness and no stretch marks and was a skinny lady after having her kids. Me: not so much.
Whenever I'd get a moment to myself these last few days, I'd go curl up on the couch. Not a lot of eating going for a while there, so a little ill-advised weight loss in there to boot...
So I have a lot to catch up on, and I hope to churn out a few blogs capturing these past few months' goings-on. Lord knows there's been no shortage of source material around here!!
WELL, I'M BACK!
For the last 13 weeks or so, we can say I was in a "funk." And by "funk" I mean another misnomer--"morning sickness." Or in my case, we could call it "all-day every day sickness." I am serious--I would GLADLY give birth twice to avoid this first trimester. This is the pits... it's been like the flu and major depression all rolled into one. So not only do you have the "fun" of dry heaving or vomiting all day, you also have the joys of feeling like you are whacked out of your mind.
Seriously, these hormones make me feel like I'm losing my grip on reality, at least in the beginning. My body was in full-out panic mode. I'd wake up at 3 AM for no particular reason with my mind and heart racing. No matter how much I'd try to reason myself out of it by thinking about just how worry-free my day was going to be, it didn't matter because it wasn't rational anyway. Thankfully, that has pretty much subsided. It's the kind of feeling that made you want to have a glass of wine to relax your nerves, but eh, not possible in these circumstances!!
For any of you moms out there who never had to experience these joyous first few months of pregnancy, I am a jealous, jealous beast. Supposedly, your pregnancy is supposed to be a lot like your mom's--well, that's bull. She got no morning sickness and no stretch marks and was a skinny lady after having her kids. Me: not so much.
Whenever I'd get a moment to myself these last few days, I'd go curl up on the couch. Not a lot of eating going for a while there, so a little ill-advised weight loss in there to boot...
So I have a lot to catch up on, and I hope to churn out a few blogs capturing these past few months' goings-on. Lord knows there's been no shortage of source material around here!!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Adventures in Potty Training--The Return??
As I promised I would, I have really backed down from prompting Amber to go potty. And for about a week, she was perfectly content with filling up her little diapers and running around "fully loaded."
But now, perhaps my patience is paying off?? She's started requesting to use the potty more regularly now. Of course, at first she just requested it at convenient times for her--two seconds before you put her down for a nap and two seconds before you put her down for bed. Nothing like procrastination as a motivator...
I'm not convinced enough to consider this a "full return" to potty training. She still runs away when you go to change a #2 diaper, which is probably not a good sign.
To be continued yet again...
But now, perhaps my patience is paying off?? She's started requesting to use the potty more regularly now. Of course, at first she just requested it at convenient times for her--two seconds before you put her down for a nap and two seconds before you put her down for bed. Nothing like procrastination as a motivator...
I'm not convinced enough to consider this a "full return" to potty training. She still runs away when you go to change a #2 diaper, which is probably not a good sign.
To be continued yet again...
Huggies Little BOOvers
I swore once that I'd never buy Huggies diapers again.
Oh... but the lure of multiple coupons and dollar signs proved too strong for me and I caved. I mean, hey, 5 bucks is 5 bucks. Surely we could just give them one more try.
WRONG.
These are awful and I can't believe ANYONE would buy them. One time Audrey had one on for UNDER an hour--I had changed her just before loading up to head to Jena and right after. In that short time, the guts of the diaper were stuck all over her little butt--those little gel capsule thingys that are supposed to stay BENEATH the outermost layers and soak up all the fun stuff.
Perhaps this is WHY they had so many coupons for these suckers...
And WHY do I continually go against what I swore I would never do again?? (see blog on Sears Portrait Studio). I should realize that if I made a statement as strong as swearing off something FOREVER, then it was with good reason.
You've had your second chance, Huggies. You and Sears Portait Studio can kiss Audrey's little gel-capsuled butt.
Oh... but the lure of multiple coupons and dollar signs proved too strong for me and I caved. I mean, hey, 5 bucks is 5 bucks. Surely we could just give them one more try.
WRONG.
These are awful and I can't believe ANYONE would buy them. One time Audrey had one on for UNDER an hour--I had changed her just before loading up to head to Jena and right after. In that short time, the guts of the diaper were stuck all over her little butt--those little gel capsule thingys that are supposed to stay BENEATH the outermost layers and soak up all the fun stuff.
Perhaps this is WHY they had so many coupons for these suckers...
And WHY do I continually go against what I swore I would never do again?? (see blog on Sears Portrait Studio). I should realize that if I made a statement as strong as swearing off something FOREVER, then it was with good reason.
You've had your second chance, Huggies. You and Sears Portait Studio can kiss Audrey's little gel-capsuled butt.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Adventures in Potty Training--to be continued
I'm sad to say that our little tryst down Potty Trained Lane has now come to a stop. At least, temporarily... Supposedly no kid ever goes to their senior prom wearing a diaper. Of course, this child is particularly bull-headed, so she may wind up sporting Pampers under her gown.
All of a sudden, Amber just decided she wasn't doing it anymore. She would cry when you put her on the potty. She started going in her pull-up and making no attempt to stop herself to make it to the bathroom. And, she started "holding it in" for hours on end, and that's what really made me decide to back off.
Oh, but that was a trying decision... the child could do it IF she wanted to. Perfectly capable. And perfectly stubborn.
I read online that kids will sometimes do this as a means of exerting control over something in their lives. She's just started school this week and we have really been riding her behind about her behavior lately, so it sounds like this could be a likely cause for her sudden lack of interest. And you KNOW I wasn't slacking off on the M&Ms, but even they couldn't work their chocolately magic on this beast.
But on the upside--I don't have to worry about trying to get her to potty before we leave for school (as she is a grumpy, uncooperative little imp in the morning.) Also, I'm hoping we can get some of her other "new" little behaviors in check--biting, throwing, hitting, pushing--all the pleasantries. She really is a good kid majority of the time--but what a temper!!!!
Now, if I'm still changing a diaper this time next year, we'll be going a different route... but I'm still holding out that one morning she'll just decide she wants to do it, and that will be that. In typical Amber Claire fashion, she'll be doing it when SHE wants to do it and on no one else's timetable!
All of a sudden, Amber just decided she wasn't doing it anymore. She would cry when you put her on the potty. She started going in her pull-up and making no attempt to stop herself to make it to the bathroom. And, she started "holding it in" for hours on end, and that's what really made me decide to back off.
Oh, but that was a trying decision... the child could do it IF she wanted to. Perfectly capable. And perfectly stubborn.
I read online that kids will sometimes do this as a means of exerting control over something in their lives. She's just started school this week and we have really been riding her behind about her behavior lately, so it sounds like this could be a likely cause for her sudden lack of interest. And you KNOW I wasn't slacking off on the M&Ms, but even they couldn't work their chocolately magic on this beast.
But on the upside--I don't have to worry about trying to get her to potty before we leave for school (as she is a grumpy, uncooperative little imp in the morning.) Also, I'm hoping we can get some of her other "new" little behaviors in check--biting, throwing, hitting, pushing--all the pleasantries. She really is a good kid majority of the time--but what a temper!!!!
Now, if I'm still changing a diaper this time next year, we'll be going a different route... but I'm still holding out that one morning she'll just decide she wants to do it, and that will be that. In typical Amber Claire fashion, she'll be doing it when SHE wants to do it and on no one else's timetable!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Adventures in Potty Training Part Two
In the last few weeks, we're really made a lot of headway on the potty training front. I can say with about 95% confidence that we are #1 trained, and that went pretty smoothly. The only problem we sometimes run into here is that my brick-headed child will sometimes refuse to go for long stretches of time when she's either "too busy" or too crabby to stop to take care of business. She doesn't go in the pullup, though... she just won't go. Thankfully, even that has gotten better recently.
However, we're still waiting to get #2 on board... I can't wait to be able to use the big girl panties and ditch the pullups. I tried to force the issue, but after having to clean a few pairs of the panties, you can forget that. Pullups it is...
And for some reason, Amber got stuck on "5 M&Ms" as the reward. They all need to be counted out in her hand and she shoves them all in her mouth at once like a shot of tequila. And don't you dare give her anything other than 5... even if you're trying to give her MORE, she gets mad and holds to her 5. Five sounds good to me--NOOOO problem!
However, we're still waiting to get #2 on board... I can't wait to be able to use the big girl panties and ditch the pullups. I tried to force the issue, but after having to clean a few pairs of the panties, you can forget that. Pullups it is...
And for some reason, Amber got stuck on "5 M&Ms" as the reward. They all need to be counted out in her hand and she shoves them all in her mouth at once like a shot of tequila. And don't you dare give her anything other than 5... even if you're trying to give her MORE, she gets mad and holds to her 5. Five sounds good to me--NOOOO problem!
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