Sunday, June 5, 2011

New beginnings


Oh where, oh where has my little blog gone? So I knew it had been a while since I wrote anything here... but didn't realize it had been over THREE MONTHS! Shame, shame on me...

Perhaps trying to resuscitate this blog at the same time as bringing a brand new baby home from the hospital is not the best idea... but I figured that life is NOT going to be slowing down ANY TIME in the next 20 or so years, so I better just make the time to squeeze it in. I know I will be sad if I neglect to write about things and then forget them in the next months/years to come.

I already feel a little bit guilty because of how little I remember about Audrey's first year or so of life. Poor middle child--because you KNOW I had everything written down for Amber--all her firsts, growth at each doctor's visit, etc. I think I wrote down a few "firsts" in Audrey's baby book, but mostly I said "oh, I'll remember" and then promptly forgot.

So I am promising to do better by little Stella and the "big girls" from this point on...

In a nutshell, here's what's been going on B.S. (that's Before Stella, not bull s...):

1. Amber finally got potty trained. HOORAY! HOORAY!! We still have occasional accidents when she's too busy to be bothered, but at least I am not changing 3 butts a day!!

2. I was able to get back into playing and take several gigs. It was very, VERY hard for me to leave night after night for a few weeks there, but all in all, I think it was very good for us as a whole. I got to revisit being a REGULAR PERSON instead of just "mama" and the girls had to adjust to letting daddy do everything for them. And we're still reaping the benefits--it does my heart good to hear them insist that DADDY do something instead of me, as I used to be the go-to person for everything. And I think Daddy kind of enjoys getting top billing too :o)

3. After months of being in shock that I was pregnant AGAIN (and also sick as a dog), I was able to start preparing the best I could for mommyhood to 3. I actually liken the way I was acting to preparing for impending death. I realize that's kind of morbid and ridiculous, but I guess in my mind, when #3 got here, life as I knew it was OVER. So we went out and did stuff ALL THE TIME, making the most of every day. I really had visions of me being trapped in this house all summer, chronically sleep deprived and ready to lose my mind.

But you know what? It really hasn't been half bad... gets a little more hectic when everyone's clamoring for your attention or help at the same time, but generally, I feel MORE RELAXED than I did before. Which blows my mind. Perhaps it's because I have resigned myself to the fact that we're just not going to be moving fast and not to sweat the small stuff because I will LOSE MY MIND if I do. I'm sure I'll have many "blow a gasket" moments in the days to come, but perhaps it's just the relief of knowing that life has not come to a crashing halt because we have a new baby. I've been able to take them out by myself without a major disaster and the girls have adjusted pretty well to having to share mama with one other person.

Despite all my worries and concerns, things really have all worked out just fine... instead of feeling like my old life coming to an end, it truly does feel like a new beginning instead. I am excited to see these 3 grow up together, but I am also trying to take it slow and savor each little moment, as I know it will all pass too quickly!

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