Living on the crazy train

So as brought to my attention today, it has been quite some time since I blogged on here. During part of that break, I was pretty much computer-less (unless you count the fossil in the back of the house which does not lend itself to blogging time with 3 children underfoot).

I guess when Stella was born, I stepped aboard the crazy train and that sucker hasn't made any stops yet!! Actually, I must have boarded when she was about 1 month old, and this is what life has been like in a nutshell..

1. Baby gets super fussy at 1 month old, and begin the reflux medication trials.
2. Husband has hemorrhoid surgery (and several followup visits)
3. Husband has second surgery because he didn't rest like he was supposed to after first surgery (cue major league aggravation and more followup visits)
4. Baby gets an upper GI, sees pediatric gastroenterologist.Yet another med.
5. Baby see second ped GI, and determination of milk protein intolerance is made.
6. Mama stops eating dairy foods. A little tricky, but good for the diet.
7. Husband goes to Virginia for 3 weeks. Takes laptop AKA lifeline to outside world.
8. Big girls start school and mama's guilt is through the roof every time they cry.
9. Whole family is sick with one or more of the following: Cold, cough, strep throat, chronic diarrhea, occasional vomiting. 3 doctor visits in 1.5 weeks.


And we're stuck at #9 right now. Good times. But whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right??

And I'm not meaning this as a complaining post--I really have to look at it more like humorous... and also so one day when I am totally blank on what happened in the first half of Stella's life, I can look back at this and say "OOOOH yeah! And I did it on no sleep, too, baby!"

The Fallout

The first few days/weeks of me with the girls by myself was going so surprisingly easy. Apparently the honeymoon is over.

First, Stella started up with the same miserable reflux that Audrey had. This is my worst nightmare come true. (Well, maybe not the WORST nightmare I could conjure up, but the worst one that didn't concern major illness, death, etc.) That first year with Audrey was HORRIBLE, and I just don't know how I could do that again with two other little ones running around.

Also, the 'big girls' are now starting up with issues that I KNOW are directly related to the stress of the new baby.

The lesser of the two: Amber has decided to un-potty train herself. She was wetting the bed pretty consistently for a week there, which she NEVER did before, even when we were potty training. But now she basically keeps refusing to use the bathroom. I will catch her walking around like a T-Rex or something trying to hold in #2 (which seems to be the biggest issue). Then when she absolutely cannot hold it any longer, she cries that the poop is "hurting her cute butt." No fooling--she's probably major league stopped up that point! And she will refuse to do ANYTHING on the potty unless you hold something over her head--like watching a show, going somewhere fun, getting chocolate milk, whatever. It's getting REALLY REALLY old to keep scrubbing little poop spots out of underwear on a girl that has been potty trained for months.

BUT the MORE annoying issue is Audrey's refusal to nap. She was a 2-3 hour a day napper before. And OVERNIGHT she started refusing to sleep. AND SHE IS DOG TIRED. She wants me to stay in there with her and rub her back or whatever till she falls asleep but I CANNOT do that with the other 2 and I WILL NOT start that bad habit. Oftentimes I'm stuck having to lay with the girls when we're not at home in order to get them to go to sleep and it is a ROYAL pain in the butt. I don't know how or why people do this on a daily basis. I mean, you spend half your day trying to get kids in the bed, and they wake up half the time when you try to get up and leave ANYWAY.

I put her in the bed with the same routine every single day, and she just screams and screams and SCREAMS. For hours. I'll check on her periodically so she doesn't think I've abandoned her, but that's old too. And if by some miracle she does fall asleep, it's never for long. I think as soon as she gets into a lighter sleep cycle, and realizes she drifted off, she's up screaming again.

And all this boils down to--MOM NEVER GETS A NAP FOR MORE THAN 10 MINUTES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. And I'm trying to cut back on the caffeine to see if it helps Stella any, so I can't even enjoy a coke or something to try to take the edge off the sleep deprivation. I seriously have not napped more than about 20 minutes during "naptime" since Stella was born because no one will freaking STAY ASLEEP and BE QUIET!!!

Yet, the worst part of the whole scenario is the ensuing moods. I have NO PATIENCE for a mood induced by someone not sleeping. Maybe it's because I haven't slept either... but I hate that I wasted my time doing the "before bed" song and dance for naught.

BUT, if we can get everyone in the bed for 8, perhaps there is a silver lining.

Sleep? What's that?

So Easy Street just took a turn onto Rip Your Hair Out Boulevard.

I really had been amazed how much easier managing 3 on my own had been than previously dreaded. Now granted, I knew the dynamic would change as Stella got more awake/alert/mobile, etc.

But seemingly overnight, my little sweetie started showing signs of the dreaded ACID REFLUX that we dealt with when Audrey was an infant. Audrey's first year is a complete haze to me, as I spent most of it in a sleep-deprived coma. Of course, I hadn't even HEARD of acid reflux in infants with her so I let it go on for weeks and weeks before calling the doctor out of desperation. I figured that all babies cried and all babies woke up during the night, and I would look like a nut calling in to the doc to complain about that. I just didn't realize that what was going on over here was BEYOND the norm until I had already not slept for about a month. And then you just never catch up...

So Stella started up with some of the SAME stuff last weekend, and we went to the doc RIGHT AWAY. Get the drugs in that baby, stat! Because dealing with 3 at once was doable with a little fatigue from getting up multiple times at night. But getting a few hours of sleep spread out over 100 little incriments is making managing "the crew" downright painful. I swear--I have NO patience when I'm this pooped and have been "crazy mama" all week. Poor girls--I try to keep The Rage on a leash, but internally I feel like I'm going to LOSE IT!

Now we have Zantac, so I pray to God that this cures what ails the child. She was SO RIDICULOUSLY EASY and then overnight became Needy Nelda--and seems to be in pain a lot--so please, PLEASE let this work.