Home of the Banshee

I always said that the terrible twos actually begin with the "terrible second year." Audrey was always so laid back and easygoing.. as my dad puts it, "she was smiling since birth!" And she actually did start smiling at only a few weeks old and NO it was not gas... But I'm hoping that this sweet easygoing nature will make a comeback once we get through this rough patch.

I still have people tell me all the time "Oh, you just never see that Audrey without a big smile on her face!"

Well, let me tell you what.. she must be saving it up just especially for me. The tantrums this kid has been throwing lately are OFF THE HOOK! The sound is above and beyond regular screaming... it is DEAFENING! And it sounds like it's coming from way down deep. I don't know how the kid isn't shredding up her throat, but she doesn't even seem hoarse afterward.

Once she starts, there is no comforting her. We've tried holding her down, whispering in her ear, distracting her, and ignoring her, and I'm not really seeing anything slowing her down. Sometimes she starts up as a reaction to being told "no," as in "No, you have to change your diaper now before we do anything else because it's dragging on the ground behind you." But more often than not she cranks it up when you go to get her out of the crib. And sadly, these episodes have been lasting up to an hour long.

I guess she's just been hit with a lot right now--a tough age, a new baby, and trying to find her place as the middle child. But I just wish she'd do it a little more quietly...

Little Mary Mixup

Where trouble goes, Audrey follows...

My little Audrey Rose is the sweetest child. She is always giving kisses and hugs and often gives up what she is playing with to appease her less-flexible big sis. I swear, it floors me when Amber starts to screech because Audrey has a toy that she wants and Audrey HANDS IT OVER. In the midst of me telling Amber to wait her turn, Audrey just gives in to her. Hmm... maybe Audrey and I need to get on the same page when it comes to disciplining her big sis...

But my little Audrey Rose is also the queen of getting dirty and getting into things she shouldn't. I like to call her my little "Pigpen." I can be a mere two feet from the child and she gets into something RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES--something I didn't prevent because I NEVER THOUGHT SHE'D DO THAT!!

For example, while I was standing in the same room, she took a plastic chair and put it on the trampoline--and then proceeded to climb atop the whole mess. Never in my mind did I think she'd even COME UP with that, but that's Pigpen for you..

I have had to come up with a "BAN LIST" of things that Audrey is not allowed to have--a list that is constantly being updated. Of course, this doesn't include the OBVIOUS things she shouldn't have--like weapons and matches--but the "harmless" stuff she's made a colossal mess with.

THE AUDREY MICHOT BAN LIST:

1. Shredded cheese: Both girls adore cheese, and the shredded variety is probably the favorite. And if they sat and ate it at the table with a spoon, I wouldn't even mind that much. But Audrey likes to eat hers like she's taking a shot, and inevitably, half the cheese ends up all over the floor/table/dog/etc. When I had to scrape smashed cheese off the top of my sofa, this became the start of the ban list.

2. Fruity Pebbles (or similar cereals): Never again will I make the mistake of buying this cereal with its itsy bitsy pieces. She does to this what she does with shredded cheese. I hate walking across the kitchen and crunching.

3. Markers: I put these on the list a while ago, but became a softie and let her use them again recently. Then she totally took advantage and colored the entirety of her outer ears, face, scalp, and neck while I was feeding the baby on the sofa (and daddy was supposed to be supervising.) I don't know how she even got a marker that far into her ear, but it required several dampened Q-tips to get most of it out. Thank God we didn't have a doctor's appointment in the next couple of days.

4. Phones/iPod/remotes: Probably no explanation needed here. But she LOVES to take the batteries out of stuff and then attempt to put them back. And get mad when she can't. Not to mention I don't want the police showing up at my house for an inadvertent 911 call.

5. Non spill proof bubbles: I didn't realize the need for this one till this morning when she took a whole bottle of bubbles and dumped them out on the porch. And then walked through them and slipped and hit her head. Again this happened while feeding the baby and she was out of arm's reach. Then a few minutes later she got her sister's and dumped it on her legs, rubbing it in like massage oil.

I am sure there will be many updates to this list. Close contenders at this point are rocks and sand, which she continues to mouth and/or eat, but I hate to ban her from the sandbox. Just yet, anyway...